I have no earthly idea what I’m doing out there. — Me.

My lovely wife got me a Spectator Racing package so I spent a few hours yesterday at All American Speedway pretending I was a NASCAR driver…. and apparently I suck at it
The briefing began with: “Lots of things can happen out here, you can lose arms and legs and even die.”
Cool.
You race these full size, tube frame deals that you climb in and out of Dukes-of-Hazzard style. I’m sure I looked like a complete noob banging all manner body parts on all manner of car parts but I got in tho. They sport 10″ race slicks and a Ford 4-banger (1.8 liters I think). They say they can go over 100 mph but on the quarter mile track you’re “only” averaging 70 mph. No mirrors, no gauges, no lights, just a 5 point harness and your butt in the seat. Sadly, the cars don’t sound very cool. They vibrate like hell and were (for me) hard to gauge engine speed and whatnot. They didn’t even have a cool “lope” at idle either, bummer. Generic race video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQxO4886Fc8.
You start with 10 laps of “familiarization” where you just tool around the track to find the line and get accustomed. I got accustomed to a 101 degree track temperature and a flame suit over my blue jeans and my sweaty head in my sweaty helmet.
Doing the math, 10 laps takes about 2.3 seconds. Well, at least that’s what it felt like. “Wait, checker flag, I’m done… already?!?”

After familiarization you do two laps “qualification”. It’s not like you’re kicked out if you suck or anything (a good thing!), it’s just for position in the 15-lap “main event”. There are supposed to be two cars, spaced a half lap apart on the track, qualifying at the same time. Thing is, they sent me out somewhat close to the guy in front of me and I actually caught him (yep, he sucked more!). I wasn’t sure what the heck I was supposed to do so I kinda wondered for a bit… then I decided to pass him, I mean duh!
I was a little concerned because I was pretty sure he didn’t know I was there and I came up on his inside as he came wide into a turn. I had an image of him drifting to the inside (remember, no mirrors) and me creaming him. He stayed where he was and I felt, for a few seconds, like Dale Earnhardt. It was all good and fun, but my lap time was a good 1.5 seconds off the leaders, which put me in the back 1/3 of the pack. I blame that other guy
The “main event” was fun… until I got bumped, actually I got bumped a few times. I was coming out of the turns fast and was starting to slide a bit. That was cool and all but the thought of sliding into the wall (and paying for the car) didn’t really appeal to me so I started braking hard into the turns. I’m thinking that was not the best approach as someone hit me pretty hard from the rear… so, no, probably not the fastest way around the track. After that I started to drive more conservatively which, based on the number of cars that passed me, was not the fastest way around the track either.
Lessee someone spun out and threw a bunch of dirt on the track. I found that having your visor open lets a nice breeze in but you also get a facefull of dirt in the eyes too. We ran under yellow for quite a few laps while they cleaned it up.
All in all a good time was had! I’m a bit sore and tired today, but that’s always good on the day after
. I think the soreness is more due to the contortions needed to get in/out of the cars, than say playing tag at 70 mph. Either way, I could definitely see doing it again.