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Ok, so my birthday was a few days ago and I’m just now getting time to pontificate about it. I got some very cool swag this time around thanks to the wonderful B&H wishlist feature.

From the wife and kids I got a Nikon SB-600 Speedlight (a “flash” to most people) and an MB-D80 battery pack.

The strobe (er “flash”) is just way cool. It has this wireless mode that lets you just set it somewhere off camera and it knows what to do. Back in the day I hardly ever used a strobe on-camera if I could avoid it. Now not only are there no cables, but through the magic of god knows what, all the automatic gobledy-gook works too. Simply amazing.

The battery back was kinda frivolus, but kinda not. I have big hands and the D80 alone never felt quite right. The battery pack adds enough to make the camera feel right, and it makes you feel like it’s an F-series behemoth to boot :).

But wait, that’s not all….

Today I bought my gift for myself. I got the Nikon 18-200mm f/3.5-5.6G ED-IF AF-S VR DX Zoom-Nikkor (man what a name). It turns out that good old Action Camera got two of these insanly hard to find beasts in last night and I got the second of the two.

I haven’t had the chance to shoot much with it yet, but I’m thrilled to note that it visually appears sharper than the 18-55 kit lens that came with the D80.

All this has made the little D80 into a wrist snapping monster that interestingly just barely wedges into my old Domke F3 bag.

Niiiice.

From the “you weren’t listening” department comes a response from “Roger”. My comments inline:

Thank you for contacting McDonald's to share your comments about our recent Happy Meal toys. I'm sorry you were disappointed with the theme of this Happy Meal.

Aw, thanks Rog…

The Pirates of the Caribbean Happy Meal theme was inspired by Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean ride at the theme parks.

Ooooooh, it was the riiiiide. Not the movie but the riiiiide. How silly of me. I don’t know how I could have missed that.

You’ve got to be kidding.

We’re not in Iraq for the oil either.

The Happy Meal collection features 8 role-play items that allow boys and girls to pretend to be a pirate.

…and beg Dad to see the movie. Because the Marketing department couldn’t have forseen that.

Man, kids pretending to be pirates, does that sound a little off to you? I wonder, in 150 years will Disney open the “Gangsters of Chicago” ride? Or, “Klansmen of the Chattahoochee”…

I know, “Gangstas of LA” and you can get one of eight toys, including a toy stereo you can steal from your sister and a plastic 9mm. It’ll be so neat… in 2156.

Please know that we would never intentionally upset our customers.

Well of course not, that’s why it’s called “neglegent”.

Your comments are important and have been shared with our Marketing staff for their review. They've assured me they will consider your feedback when planning future Happy Meal offers.

Yeeeaaaaah, sure. I bet there’s a bunch of 23-year-old metro-sexuals down in LA somewhere who are all sitting around going, “Who is this whiner?!? What a prude.”

My revenge is that some day they too will have kids…

Once again, thank you for letting us know how you feel. We hope you'll enjoy our future Happy Meal promotions.

You betcha, Rog.

Oh and my favorite part:

Please do not "reply" to this email response. All "replies" go to an unmonitored mailbox and are not reviewed.

There be a lot of big words there, I’m naught but a humble programmer… but I think it means “plonk“

Below is a message I submitted to the McDonalds marketing whores:

Simple: Stop marketing movies my kids can't see on your Happy Meals.

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean, I enjoyed it. It certainly, however earned its PG-13 rating. My children will not be seeing it for quite some time.

But there it is, plastered all over your stores, plastered all over your Happy Meals.

Think about this: what teenager in their right mind would be caught dead with a "Happy Meal"? Teenagers are those that a PG-13 rating represents. By marketing PG-13 movies on your Happy Meals you are, simply put, being irresponsible.

I realize I’m pissing in the ocean here, but what the hell.

Ok, I’m sufficiently recovered from three days of Cub Scout day-camp to write something other than “Ouch”.

I volunteered to be a “walk around leader” for this year’s day-camp not fully understanding what I was getting into. What I was getting into was leading 12 8-year-old boys around from activity to activity… out in the hills… amongst a sea of 250 other boys in the same age group.

At the end of each day both my son and I were dirty, sweaty and tired… which is the chief sign of a Good Time.

The boys of my den were a crackup, each and every one of them. They all had difficulty with comprehension that most boys have. “Put that down.” “Hey, put that down!” “Stop running.” “Yes, you.” “Put that down!”.

And each one had things that made him special, from the diminutive one that would lose his head if it wasn’t attached, to the ADD kid who would have been a total disaster if his mom wasn’t also there to help, to the kid with classic PDD symptoms.

Oh and lest I forget the 8-year-old that was going into the 5th grade next year that kept making up fart-based limericks… oh and the small kid with a peanut allergy that ran like a gazelle.

And there were lessons learned too:

• A Leatherman is the Best Tool Ever
• Everything is a contest
• “They’re only eight, they’re only eight…” is a good Mantra
• Quiet kids being loud is a Bad Thing
• Loud kids being quiet is a Worse Thing
• Always remember the Teddy Roosovelt quote: Never keep boys waiting, it is a hard trial for a boy to wait.

And, yes, I think I may do it again next year…

The repair shop called… no fuel was flowing so they suspect a bad fuel pump.

Suspect?

They want to also replace the fuel filter (not a bad idea) and some relay that works with the fuel pump… because they smelled an electrical smell when they were in there.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

While waiting for my ride, I thought I smelled an “electrical” smell too, so much so that I mentally toyed for a bit about the story-telling potential of the car bursting into flames… but the the smell passed. I assumed it was someone driving by.

So, yeah, replace the electrical smelling relay. But if the relay is bad… then the pump should be fine, right? Or conversly, if the pump is bad why would the relay be bad? How could one cause the other to fail? That’s like you breaking a finger on a light switch because the light burned out.

Also in my experience electrical parts tend to fail en mass from a greater cause, so is this indicative of a greater electrical problem?

Whatever, just fix it… it’ll give me time to shop for something else that wont strand my ass on the freeway or burst into electrical smelling flames.

Oh and the best part: one of the parts (which part I don’t remember) won’t be in until Tuesday. The main reason I took the can to the dealer was I’m tired of “we have to order the part…” runaround you get from non-dealer shops.

Drove all over the place on Friday after work. Finally with my errands done, I hit the freeway. It was over 100 and it was mid rush hour…

And yup, it died.

I was in the #2 lane when I felt a pretty good jolt and the RPMs tanked. This time I didn’t mess around, I careened off to the right cutting someone off (I waved, I’m sure they “waved” back). I hit the shoulder of the freeway still going at a good clip, so much so I almost hit one of those call boxes. Not having power for the brakes made for a few interesting miliseconds.

I decided to call a friend and hang out a while until things cooled off. The car had been starting after sitting a bit so I figured I had a good chance of firing it up later.

Later came and we returned to the scene of the crime. This time though, things were decidedly worse. The car “turned over” but it never even sputtered. Like there was no gas at all hitting it… or no spark.

So for the 2nd time in 3 days, I got to ride in a tow truck.

I called. “We’re still looking, but it’s running fine.”

I lounge for a bit on my unscheduled day off and finally I decide I should probably start finding a ride to the shop to pick the unholy beast up. My wife and kids are at Grandma’s. The neighbors aren’t home. Friends are out. Sheesh.

I start eyeballing the bike helmet. It’s only 6 miles. All uphill. In 100+ degrees.

Yep, it sucked. More so because I didn’t even think about whether the route I chose to take even had a bike lane. A good chunk of it didn’t and it was one of those 3 inch shoulder-then-dropoff things too. I opted to walk it for a few sections, not because I was tired (I was) or hot (I was) but because I figured I was gonna die if some car got too close and I twitched a little too far right.

There was a slight downhill into the dealer, so I got to fly in and slide a 180 right in the sevice area… making it totally look like I was all cool (I wasn’t).

But I digress :). They couldn’t find anything wrong with the car.

Greeeeeat.

“We’ll let you know something by 10:00 am.”

At 10:47 I gave ‘em a call, “Its running fine for us.”

Yep.

So they’re gonna monkey with it some more and call me with an update when I call them this afternoon.

Ok, no it’s not for sale… yet.

My vaunted(?) 2000 Outback left me stranded on the road… again. Heading home from work, I was just getting going after a light, down a slight grade, when the engine started to sputter. Now, you have to understand that I’ve tinkered with a few cars in my day and I know well the tricks to keeping a car running when it doesn’t want to.

No problem, I have the grade on my side so I have some room to work. “C’mon, bitch,” I floor the clutch and feather the gas, “come on back…” *sputter* I’m running out of room… “c’mon…” it’s just not picking back up… shit, do I have gas?!? (wouldn’t be the first time…) yeah 1/4 a tank… “Come on!” but it just suffocates at 150 RPM.

And then it’s dead… and there’s no more grade left. In a hail Mary play I pop the clutch… *wham* (Live, damn you!!)… more sputtering but no, it’s over. I coast off onto a side street and stare at all the dashboard lights.

He’s dead, Jim.

Immediatly I notice the temperature. It’s over 100 out and the a/c is, of course, no longer working. I try to start the car a few more times, it seems like it catches for an instant and then it sputters and dies.

Damn, it’s hot.

I head over to this used car lot across the street where there is some shade. A guy there was really helpful, but the car stays dead. I decide to sit and chill for a bit and try it again in a few. I’m grateful for the shade and the chair… the last time this happened I was in the middle of the freeway… and it was 104 out.

After a bit I try the car again and sonofagun, it starts! Huzzah! I rev it between 2000 and 2500 RPMs to see if it’ll stay… it does, I think I may try to limp it home, careful to keep the RPMs up… *sputter* *cough* *dead*

WTF! No, freaking way! It died right out from under me! Ok, I’m done. I head back to the used car place to score a phone book and call a tow truck. I leave the car at the dealer — you know they actually have a night drop for cars? About 3 hours after the first sputter and I’m finally home.

So tomorrow I get to deal with this. I’m sure the dealer is gonna tell me there’s no gas in it, or worse “Its running fine for us.”

Bah, stupid car.

Over the weekend my wife and I packed up the kids and headed to Southern California for a family reunion. That, of course right there is worth a blog posting because running through airports with kids and all their associated attachments is always fun.

But what was cool about this reunion was that is was held at the Helena Modjeska Historic House and Gardens. Now what you may be wondering is, “Um, where?”

Continue reading ‘Family reunions and Polish actresses’ »